Fire and me

I've been aborted five times and haven't died once. You can't kill my spirit. You can't kill my purpose. Further perfection is granted through my trials.

Port ______

Destination and arrival have met in my soul

My mind thinks,

about looking for other signs and symbols

It thinks,

and would like to re-echo the mean mantras of self hate and disgust

It would like to reach out and hurt somebody

Time is afraid of my awakening

Time and thinking dissolve when

Destination and arrival meet

I have been re-jolted back to life

My soul finally recognizes itself in the dark and in the mirror

I journey through the files marked significant in my memory

I see so many faces and hear so many words 

All the clues of my lifetime

All the moments of love missed on purpose 

to lead me to this point.

Here I am. In space. My voice is no longer audible in this territory.

Silence has always held the answer,

Be careful when you plant a Love Seed.

Our lips don't need to touch
Our hands don't have to meet
You dont have to embrace me
I have something beyond that.
During the night, and in those still moments of 
the day,
You come to me
Your spirits caresses me
And the breathes of our souls mingle.
You whisper to me in words only my heart understands
And I am strengthened.
I am loved.
I love you.

I no longer search for love. You have planted that seed.
And it grows.
Oh my Love, it grows.

I savor those still moments
I delight in the night

That's when our seed grows the most.
That's when I am most alive.

Nothing can change that.

pass me the keys

Good Morning,

I'll get straight to the point.

    I have been slightly restless for the past 2 days. My thoughts and ideas are multiplying at such a steady rate...when I was younger, this same wave would overtake me. It would leave me up until 5am reading and writing and back up at 7 or 8am trying to find relief from all my dreams.

I remember my dreams would leave me feeling unrested. But inside myself I knew sleep was something that could/would be given to me again...and i didn't really crave it anyways.

So the beat never does really stop. (that's a term I picked up from some fellow ravers) Here I am.

I am currently pursuing understanding in the spirit world. Like who the Fuck am I?

I know I'm small but my influence is major...and yet i have not completed many tasks i have for this world.

Nor have i expanded financially in a lonnng time.. -_- 

****problems of the earth, problems of the spirit,

aren't really problems at all.

It is but a failure to see both worlds at once. 

This failure will leave a void and a feeling of neglect.......oh how we suffer at our own hands.

The Human Race must connect the earth(human) and the heavens(being) or the journey around the sun will never end****

stuck between the gods and brutes

my hands stretched out to both worlds

they tug on either side relentlessly

no one takes the time to care for the vessel I am.

The one without a voice.

The only voice I have is yours,

and you cant hear me,

neither worlds can hear me,

but they know 

what I am.

Cursed and Blessed by the same ancient tongue.

My modern personification is limited.

I do desire to be loved and yet feel this will never be possible,

because I belong to two worlds

and a third world that is in between.

No one notices.

everyone just feels cheated.

And I am left to heal my own wounds 

I am left to heal my own spirit

I am left to kill my own ego

I am left to commune with demons and angels alike

and any moment I dare to pull out of either world 

I began to feel the full force of my inadequacy to be nothing and everything in the same breathe.

Deep Wave (date: 8/23/11)

The movement has taken control.
The movement holds the same properties as air,
you cannot capture it, you cannot stop it.
The movement is like a current,
ripping the floor from underneath me.
It has warned me of its forth coming for sometime.
And I have subconsciously  braced myself for this collapse;
this collapse of these mirrored realities and endless emotions.
The movement demands that the real I come forth.
I wait for me.
I hope for me.
I pray for me.
Moments are more fleeting. Time has begun to melt.
I enjoy this disintegration.
I haven't been myself for awhile.
The movement wants me to kill myself by letting go and giving in to its power,
it wants me to give in to my power
it wants me to let go of all my fear

This spoke to me like i spoke to it first..

To be of the Earth is to know
the restlessness of being a seed
the darkness of being planted
the struggle toward the light
the joy of bursting and bearing fruit
the love of being food for someone
the scattering of your seeds
the decay of the seasons
the mystery of death
and the miracle of birth
—John Soos

so

i really haven't posted here since November?


life always gives us new beginnings.
these beginnings start in our mind first
then travel through the body and the our emotions are triggered
then our actions are triggered


we are afraid to be our great, kind, understanding selves
we are being taught life isn't valuable

i struggle with the mundane bullshit
i wonder about my destiny
i worry

pero,

it is beginning to settle in
the knowing that life does what it may
i am the reaction factor
i have the power over how i deal and feel about anything

So,
in the mean time
know yourself.